you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize