Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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