my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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