i need an iv and a liver transplant
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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