i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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