okay pat passed out under dana's car
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we still banned from the library?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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