Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
You left your phone here
Wait...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize