hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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