just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
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he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
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So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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