Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize