Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize