using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
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