How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize