he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize