Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize