Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
i think i just lost a toe
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize