i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize