Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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