You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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