My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize