i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
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Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
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Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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