The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize