then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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