I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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