Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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