i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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