the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize