we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize