my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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