I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
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Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
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I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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