walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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