The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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