On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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