My hair reeks of homosexuality.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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