your parents love me but you hate me
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize