erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
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