So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
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currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
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who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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