I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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