You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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