I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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