It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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