did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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