During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I am mentally ready for anal.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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