drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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