The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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