unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
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She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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