How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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