Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize