Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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