So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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